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Would love another set of eyes
  • Afternoon PV, not sure if this is allowed but if anyone is interested and has a few extra minutes, I'd love for a editor to take a look or anyone who wants to and get some feedback on a recent shoot I'm trying to deliver by the 28th. I've gone over it a few times and think I might be to numb to anything else. I do know where some weaknesses are and I'm not going to put them out there because they might not be real weaknesses. So if anyone has any help or advice, that would be awesome! Of course stuff like, they should not be wearing that, or she was wrong for the part or anything that would entail a reshoot. I love when people give that type of advice, very helpful :)

    I don't want to say the product because half of what we were going for would be lost!

    Anyways, I'll put a link and password instead of an open link. Thanks again.

    paswword: roughcut

  • 40 Replies sorted by
  • Nice editing, the colour seems really subdued to me.

  • Oh, it's just RAW. No color correction or grading of anykind. Shot on BMCCs. Forgot to mention that. :) This is just the first step. Also it's audio from sound guy but it's just thrown in there. Pretty much zero audio stuff done. Just sync and room tone added.

    Oh yeah, by no means am I an editor, that's why I need some help!!!!!!! :)

  • my two cents for what it's worth. Is there a minimum time limit? If not, I would tighten it way up. Just start with Scarlet walking up to the podium, we see from the crowd saying "Hi Scarlet" that we are in a group session and don't need any character shots setting the scene before that. Cut the exchange with the daughter eating the donuts. Cut out the Scarlet reaction when the first girl stands, just have her go right into her schpiel. And then when everyone starts going into their own confessional, cut it real tight, maybe some overlapping dialogue and that's when you can use all the reaction shots of the people in the group. Get rid of extraneous dialogue so everyone gets a sentence or two and then move on. There's probably a way to get rid of her motioning to her daughter when she says she hid it from her (because I don't think the donut thing from before plays that well). Is there another line for the camera move to reveal the sign? I think it would work better to reveal it on: "How did we all get so embarrassed about tampons?" feels like the natural resolution. Or even cutting to a locked off shot of this in the wide if you don't have the move. anyways, that's what I think.

  • @digger

    Thanks man. No time limit. It s a web promo. I orginally wanted it at 1:30 ish and we're at 2:00 now.

    I'm with you on the little girl thing. We ran out of time and I didn't get what I really wanted there. The gag is in there because I have a pick up shot of the little girl in the bathroom mirror putting a tampon up her nose from her mothers speech. It was going at the end after a quick fade to back. Little button.

    There's a little overlapping dialogue but some people don't say much but I'll see if I have the brain capacity to make it better :)

    Think we might have a lockoff for the sign reveal. Not sure. I was going to send that shot through Lock n Load at some point since it's a little too shaky cam.

    Thanks again for your input. All great stuff.


  • @vicharris kudos!!! fine job, very balanced, lots of possibilities.

    It's a bit difficult for me to write, my fingers are sticky of ganja oil, je je je.

    @digger makes very good points :-)
    I personally like the silent melodrama in the beginning, right away one recognize those cliché expressions, situation, behaving... I would emphasize that, making blinking (Murch) a little longer and then, like digger pointed out, tighten up BUT into a crescendo guided by sound; I can imagine that when background ambient is mixed in, will be very different; cohesive. The girl with the donut... I don't know... I like very much (funny like hell) the image of a little girl trying to stick a tampon in her nose, ja ja aj.

    God is with you now, ja ja ja

  • Look and sound are both great imho!

    For what it sets out to do, it's too long. From the opening until the reveal/punchline, every moment serves the same purpose, just adding more of the same message, so I would try to find a way to move that part along. It's not about the total length either. If there were important new developments in there, then it would be fine, but the way it's cut, the silences and lingering moments imply a bigger story with more actual development.

    I could try to get more specific, but honestly my comment applies to the overall cut. It needs to be tightened up to balance the amount of development and actual content.

    I think the "no time limit" thing is deceiving with web stuff, since the real time limit is attention span. On the web, attention span is insane.

    Hope that makes sense.

    I'm certainly no editor either, but coming from a music composition background, I find that pacing and all that goes with it is the first thing that I notice about a cut, and also the most intuitive aspect for me as I try to learn more about film/video (I'm very new to this stuff. Just got a GH3 in February as a first cam). Color grading on the other hand. Dang! That one's gonna take me a long while to learn.


  • @vicharris Hahahaha... That was great :) Image and sound, I have no issues with (makes me even more excited to get my camera!). The insert shot of the girl with a tampon up her nose would also do wonders.

    +1 @OZ I think it could potentially use a little tightening up before the tampon reveal, but you'd have to tread the line of really selling the AA setup to intensify the punchline vs. keeping the attention span of the internet... not sure what the right mix is.

    Overall, pretty awesome :)

  • @vicharris That is also some pretty sweet Vimeo encoding. What are your export settings if you don't mind me asking?

  • @_OZ Thanks man, good points. Already dropped 10 sec since you've seen it. I should prob pull it for a bit till I do a little more and upload another.

    @Wilbo Thanks too man! It turned out really well. I had Kholi as my DP and we brought in his sound guy which was awesome! And we had an AC intake vent right over the actors the whole day and we still captured pretty clean audio. Never doing my own audio again!!!! And yep, cut it down. Like I said if we got it down to 1:30, I think we would be ok. There's a plan on how to implement the video online so I think we have a little more wiggle room in terms of attention spam than the average person wasting time on Youtube.

  • I agree with everyone else! Can be much shorter, though I think a little of the scene setting at the top is nice just not so much and then snap through it because personally I'm waiting for the punchline all the way through so need some pace to stop people from thinking. Yes, lose donut daughter and rattle the rest together and hit the punchline with a bit more oomph, like the sign and the line together if poss. I always do the same thing as you, my producer makes me chop about half the time out and a few days later I think fair point! Looking forward to next cut.

  • @Whilbo Yeah, it took me a bit to figure it out. For one I have the plus account that uploads faster so that helps and I always change my videos over to 1080 since Vimeo defaults to 720. In terms of export, I make a full rez qucktime movie export from FCP, usually in just reg ProRes instead of HQ. I'm sure it helps but I've never noticed the difference and I'm sure 99% of the people who watch this, not forum people don't care or notice. The I just drop it into MpegStreamclip, export as mp4, adjust framerate, un check interlace, check de interlace, move slider to 100% quality(but on this it was just 75% since it's just rough cuts) then usually adjust bitrate to at least 10,000 or 15,000(but this I didn't touch here as well for the same reason)

  • Thanks guys. I'll pull it and adjust and repost. Have to leave donut girl. I hate it but the people writing the checks just said she stays. Whatda gonna do!

  • @_OZ I was only asking about length because sometimes it's contractual with clients for the video to be of a certain length. Obviously it's about how the pacing feels and not about some arbitrary running time.

  • @vicharris Cool, thanks for the encoding pointers!! :) Is Mpegstreamclip better to use then Compressor on Mac or Adobe Media Encoder in your experience? I'm pretty much just an Adobe guy.

    And I try to do the whole upgrade to 1080p thing on Vimeo too. There are times when I can't tho... Like I've done some reel edits for a handful of actors, and when I'm doing that I make sure to not update to 1080p and that the "default video to HD when embedded" is unchecked, to ensure the vids play quick for potential casting directors looking at actor websites--but this is off topic.

    Great job! I think we'd all really like to see the final product once it's been appropriately implemented online :)

    Oh, and I'll have to note again, your sound is great! Seems like you had really good sound guy (+sound equipment). Nothing I've ever recorded on my own with mics and separate recorder have sounded as clean. No need for sweetening to my ears!

    And mad props to @kholi as well!

  • OK, here's a ruthlessly cut version! I threw peoples footage on the floor with reckless abandonment and little disregard for personal feelings!!! :) Think I've cut out 40 seconds or so and threw in the pick-up shot at the end and yes, I know the little girls skin is the EXACT same as the damn wall!!!!! Ya get what you can get people :) Anyways for those that took a look before again @digger @_OZ @Wilbo @belfryman @maxr or whoever else wants to take a look before I picture lock this damn thing, I'd love to hear another round of feedback. Think we're pretty close here as different people will always have things they like and hate about edits. Just have to find the middle ground.

    Thanks guys

    You'll have to copy and paste this link I believe.

  • Mmm, link sent me to me own youtube vids.

  • Well that's odd. Let me take a look. Fixed. Looks like it plays right in here now.

  • Nice. It works. Congrats. I once worked on a commercial for playtex in NYC for Gray Advertising. Whenever people stopped to ask what we were filming they looked put off by the answer "Playtex". One guy with his date said "Well somebody's got to make the commercials". lol.

  • Funny. In my opinion you could add just a fraction of second for the final written sentence (it was hard to completly read it the 1st time)... but english is not my thing, so maybe for natives it's long enough. Ps : And with the cruelty of a fresh eye who can cut every performance (just for the rythm/dynamism of the moment) : I would shorten the shot at 0:31 when the woman say no with her head. I would just cut the beginning and let the end with her face down and up when she looks the girl on her right side. 2c

  • Tons tighter. If anything I would cut the line we all have our stories and come back in with I knew after the cutaway and could just shorten the beat before she says they're just tampons, I can't make out the line that is being said underneath that just tampons shot though, so maybe I'm just being deaf an that would make it work. It's a script thing really, but I would want to cut from thank you for that story did we all get so embarassed about tampons, once you've seen the sign and heard it's about tampons the gag is over, though you're going for the topper with the tampon up the nose for me it adds a lot of bulk in the script I'd want to cut.

  • And I'm sure you wouldn't be able to do that and it might be wrong, be nice to see and compare though. Would need something like 'God' before how did we get so embarrassed which probably isn't there anyway.

  • @CFreak

    Thanks man. Good to get an opinion from someone who's worked around this product!


    I agree with the sign we see but I need to get away that cut at that point for some reason, I can't remember why. Maybe the camera moved too much or something. I have another shot and it's always a balance and a sacrifice for a low budget shoot. I'm sure English not being your native language doesn't help though :) Haven't had that feedback yet but I would like to stay on it a sec longer since it's a comedic element. I'll check out that shot at :31 too. Thanks for checking it out as well. I don't mind constructive criticism at all. It's the only way we can get better!!

  • @belfryman Thanks for taking a look again. I haven't done much in the way of sound editing. Levels aren't right and there's no fades, blah blah blah. So for sure, that will be cleaned up with dialogue you can't here yet. I agree with a shorter shot of her before she says just tampons but we don't have it. I want her to go from looking at the audience, to breaking the fourth wall there and that's the shortest one we have. Doesn't look right if we come right into it with her looking down the barrel. As for cutting the whole bloody nose part and the end with the little girl, well, that's just not going to happen. People who make more money than me and sign checks are pretty proud of all that :) I'll see if I have time to maybe piece together something like that and see how it plays. Kinda running low on time though, as usual!

  • The sound of the cup, needed, also a "pinch of uncomfortable sounds"

    I understand the girl raising her arm to talk, but that part just feels strange, guess that's because I am a
    rude man and the only thing I'll raise... forget it

    The curly girl's "wear them proud" needs some kind of emphasis or cut out

    1 more sec in last phrase "Isn't time..." or better, rephrase; anyway sounds really awkward... why the question and not and affirmation? Time for a company not to be embarrassed about tampons

    I know I am entering "personal" territory but I'll give reds some spotlight

    I forgot most important: kudos it's looking really nice :-)