Sausage Party

Imagine authors of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs who got their dose of bath salt and multiplied it by ten.

Jason Bourne

Big PR, big marketing money and actual result that is more appropriate for some heavy drug users young virgins crew of five 17 year olds.

Spectral

As usual US is spreading democracy, with all same results, this time they bomb the hell out of Moldova. Funniest thing that whole film we won't see even one of their opponents. All we see is some abnormal ghosts that are... secret weapon of horrible regime. All the people on screen are just cardboard figures and all you really wish for them is to die faster. Especially this sick genius who made all and everything US army uses alone, in his spare time, with his bare hands and circular saw. Whole script, logic and attempts to somehow bring science words to this mess are horrible.

It is not even 3rd rate film, it is something far far below.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Another hollow movie without normal story and script, just some pretty pictures and CGI. All characters are, as usual, cardboard figures playing some hard to understand role in big budget disaster.

More interesting is to understand amazing popularity of the book that is source (it is not accurate adaptation). As book is actually 25th variation of Harry Potter style child books. So, why they are so popular in capitalist countries? All of them have in common - some distant fairy tale place, some unusual children (main characters are also special), with some superpowers and some 17th-19th century style teaching and relations, usually also some horrible illogical villains are included and some magically won fight where few characters are always outnumbered and weak. All this is necessary elements of capitalists fairy tale for children. You are special, you can do anything without any materialistic foundation and knowledge, all current problems and horrors can be overcome by going to fairy place, do not go with society to fight your major real problems, keep it up with your friends and relatives, using magic you can always win, and if not win - loose not much. So, where is not such thing as independent press, including children one.

War on Everyone

Fucking horrible shit. Does not deserve more words even.

Passengers

Second straight horror shit from Morten Tyldum.

Short version for saving your time.

Deep in the space you have one huge ship with lot of sleep pods with idiots in them, yet 95% of ship space being taken by vine savings, resort hotels and empty hookers rooms (actual hookers are also asleep for now).

Accidently ship fly through asteroid field, and, as all scientific though had been wasted on pools and fancy lighting, it causes issues. But do not worry. Issues in this film have nothing to do with our galaxy, they are all remain in the Force, driven by the Force... shit.. sorry, had been pulled by fantasy to other direction. But you got the idea. Two small rocks just hit poor ship, one rock awakens Joe Shmuker guy and another hit directly into the reactor core and driving computer, but the Force.. ok.,ok, I stop. But you got the idea.

So, our Joe Schmuker spend one year sitting near female sleeping pods and masturbating. But finally decides that it is time to try real thing. And he did, he did!

After he is fully satisfied, it is time to tell Missy Hooker that she is actually amazing writer and not stupid actress playing bad role, as it is usual for her. With this melodrama thing being over it is time for the Force to finally show the power.

Of course in final part we see amazing, heroic actions of Joe and Missy who literally save the ship and thermonuclear reactor using hammer and all the school knowledge they still had in their head (do not worry, I do not mean alphabet now, it is too advanced).

After successfully saving ship defying all laws of physics and logic they meet at the floor and open Kamasutra book to explore positions they can try. Strong music start to play and all fades out.

On all screen in huge white letters existential question appear:
"What else a man could do if not eat and fuck?"

And it fades and we see Joe near another sleep pod with pretty female saying:
"He could eat twice as much and fuck twice as many!"

The Thirteenth Floor, 1999

There is good reason why we had Matrix and this film released in almost exactly same time.

Years prior of 1999 was pinnacle of capitalism, dotcom bubble, idea that now it is end of time, idea that using smart manipulation you can control everything. In other words - idealism in every possible forms in all media products.

Both movies are pinnacle of idealism in movies. Where is no reality, only some computer simulation (extreme form of idealism). Yet materialistic reality and progress slowly tightened grip on capitalism neck and on such ideas. They still do some inferiour stuff ala Arrival, but trend is definitely down. Few moments are left until you see first crushing bones.

Silicon Valley, series, 1-3 seasons

In Russia we had extra simple and fun series called Steep dive

Short synopsis of it - "Passenger airliner Broiler-747 is inevitably falling down at full speed during all 325 episodes, all this time crew of the airliner bravely fights to save passengers. "

Actually you just fully heard Silicon Valley main plot line. Small crew of idiots is nosediving their poor startup but something, always against any logic and thanks to god, always come up to save it for another episode.

Does is show how startup work, even remotely? Absolutely not. May be it shows the progress of startup and maturity process? Nope, zero. It is like caterpillar who refused to do anything, eat tons of LSD and became immortal.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

That's the typical government. Always trying to step on the little guy just for living his life.

Form fillers. That's how they get you. Anything you want to do in life, you got to fill out a form.

And they've got forms for everything. You fill it out, it goes upstairs, and then they make you fill out a new form, just to confirm it was you that filled out the first form.

And if ever you want to stop filling out forms, well, there's about five different forms for that.

There are two layers in this film. One external layer is about beautiful New Zealand nature and very simple story that can be developed into interesting film.

Second layer is more complex. It is about full miscast of each and every of main and secondary characters, except one, but she die suddenly 15 minutes into the film. It is about lack of any real character development, changes or anything. It is about same sin as in any CGI rich movie, but this time it is nature shots instead of CGI. Btw, another good fun actor appears also for 5 minutes and this is his character quote above.

La La Land

This film actually does not need people. At all, not made for them. They want your money, of course, but you are necessary only as transport of money to their pockets. After the ritual you can be free.
So, your best behavior must be same as always in case you see big pile of smelly dog sheet. Just get around it, no need to test and later tell everyone your experience. No one really need to know it.

Considering ratings - initially they just buy reviews and feedback and later it is also https://masscommtheory.com/theory-overviews/spiral-of-silence/

Kong: Skull Island - Rise of the King

Compared to this Zombievers is the pinnacle of filmmaking.

Polaroid horror flick

New levels, new levels.

7 Days in Hell

Tour de Pharmacy

Another films made without any normal adult supervision. Actors just wrote, directed and laughed at all this themselves.

Both films try to be funny, but because all we see is just actors and idiots dreams put into film it became total triumph of vulgarity and laziness.