So a man walks into confession and says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned". The priest says "What have you done, my son?"
"I am 80 years old and I was walking home from the library the other day and two college girls stopped their car and said they were on spring break and needed directions and we got into a discussion and they offered to drive me home and on the way one of them asked me the last time I'd had sex and I told them it had been years and she said would I like to have some fun and before I knew it the three of us were in my apartment and I had the most magnificent sex for two nights and the day between and they're still there waiting for me and promised they'd show me things I never even knew a man and woman could do. And that's why I've come to confession."
"Are you kidding?!" the priest said. "You can't do that. 100 Hail Mary's and run around the church 1000 times. By the way is this your first confession?"
"Yes I've never been to confession before. I'm Jewish."
"If you are Jewish why are you telling me this?" begged the priest.
"I'm telling everybody"