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Need advice for a crowdfunding pitch video
  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Hello all, I would need some advice on a crowdfunding video, could you help me improve our video?

    The color timing is not done, and the voiceover is placeholder, but is the general structure working for you? Do you feel like we should give more technical details about the product on the video? Thanks for your time

    Adam

  • 16 Replies sorted by
  • Vitaliy_KiselevVitaliy_Kiselev

    Could you help me improve our video?

    Manufacturing and product shots seem good, little slow, but ok.

    But how about show real performance of such thing? As present parts does not look real extreme and interesting.

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Thanks for the input, there is maybe a need to speed up the pace on some parts yep.

    About performance, I don't have the skills to do huge canyon gaps or flip the bike (while doing the filming too) so we will have to hire some guys with balls in the future.

    However I think compared to our closest competitor with a bike for teenagers and big budget with pro rider, we're not doing ridiculous even on the riding things.

    Competitior vid : www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJM8PWRsLlE

  • DrDaveDrDave

    Some of my colleagues who have done well have the opening sequence frame something really unusual. It could be the scene, doesn't have to be a a flip, but something really out there. Just my ii ¢.

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Thanks for the comments guy, ive been working on a more energetic version, what do you think?

  • Vitaliy_KiselevVitaliy_Kiselev

    This one I like even less.

    Editing of riding is much more quick, but necessary shots for this are absent.
    I mean here normal pov shots, low cameras shots (low to the ground), shots from the cameras located near the passing bike.

    You also need good strong English voiceover, from someone who did it many times.

    Here is your current plan:

    1. Opening shots describing bike in very logical, detailed way advanced techies like.
    2. Some performance shots made on very plane ground and shot from above, greatly reducing perceived speed
    3. Back to talking heads and manufacturing

    I think it is bad plan.

    How about:

    1. Really good performance shots, intense, fast and total below 1 minute. Something that just emotionally make you wish this thing.
    2. Good English voice while showing you thing in detail
    3. Another small part of extreme shots, control bullet
    4. Calming down part showing manufacturing and assuring delivery date, cost and quality, for logical part of the brain
  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Thank for the advice and time, I'm working on that. Hard to make good riding shots here during winter so I have to do with what I have unfortunately.

    I've modified the structure with :

    • Riding first, I tried to find more interesting shots
    • Studio shots (still have to find voiceover guy and improve text)
    • Talking heads
    • Removed a lot of uninteresting work shots, add voiceover of delays and availability details

    Overall I removed about 1 min from the full edit, now its about 3m55.

    Time to find good cheap voiceover guy, I agree that me trying to talk english for more than a few seconds is hard to bear. Any recommendations?? I'm lost

    We do not need to sell 1000 or even 100 of those bikes, our goal is quite easy to reach. Any thoughts about kickstarter/crowdfunding itself?

  • Vitaliy_KiselevVitaliy_Kiselev

    We do not need to sell 1000 or even 100 of those bikes, our goal is quite easy to reach. Any thoughts about kickstarter/crowdfunding itself?

    Behave and make plan as if you plan to sell around 100x of your original amount. It'll give you some slack later.

  • matt_gh2matt_gh2

    First off, the product seems like a very cool idea. 4 things/problems.

    1. Vitaliy is right, it's often hard to understand the speaker. I've lived in US my whole life/native English speaker, but have trouble understanding at times. Go with an understandable speaker.
    2. Until 2:48 into the video...I don't really know what the bike looks like. However that picture of the bike at 2:48 is awesome! Take some shots of the bike from front, sides, back, above, etc., and then let the picture actually stay stationary for more than 2 seconds. Nothing wrong with 4 seconds on each of those angles I've suggested (front, sides, back, above).
    3. I happen to have riden an electric bike, but to someone who hasn't, the concept could perhaps used some explaining. Something like "An e-bike is an electric bike - it's as light and nimble as an off road bicycle, but like a motorcycle you can crank the throttle and have some power and speed supplied to you. No more need to pedal up hills. All the fun of off roading, with none of the work." (something like this, but with smoother wording.)
    4. You MUST show many closeups of the throttle being cranked, with sound effects.

    This is a great product because it's an off road bike with motorcycle power, and it looks cool as hell. Let people know what it is. Best of luck.

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Thanks for the advice matt! Today we shooted more shots with throttle use and big burnout :) I may have found a nice voiceover guy too, for decent money. Here's the updated version with still placeholder voice-over

  • sam_rides_a_mtbsam_rides_a_mtb

    The most recent version looks better, though if you are targeting the "freeride" crowd with this, and not just the occasional weekend warrior trail rider, you need to show some tail whips, tabletops, slow-mo airtime over some doubles/gaps, otherwise, this just looks like an overbuilt e-bike. if you want to prove that this is a "freeride" e-bike, then show some real freeriding, if you know what I mean. also, you say 2,000 mm of suspension travel - you mean 200mm of travel suspension. nice job on the fabrication and custom machining! wish I had access to some of these tools :)

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    The voiceover guy did a very good job, few things to fine tune but its really comming together now!

    I dont have much good footage of jumps unfortunately, as I'm doing most of the jumping and filming. But trust me this thing likes airtime ;) Some footage of the bike in action, unfortunately I did not keep source files and it does not look good on YT.

  • matt_gh2matt_gh2

    That footage looks fine - you can use a few clips of some of the nice jumps and tricks you shot here, as well as the picture of the guy in the helmet giving the thumbs up.

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    Yep, I actually still had the web export file si I was able to cut some good bits! The video is going to our mailing list this weekend and public just after. We won't use kickstarter yet, hopefully we will get enougth preorders without that!

    Thanks for all the advise again, I think it has been well used and hopefully the time spent on that will be worth it. Maybe.

  • Vitaliy_KiselevVitaliy_Kiselev

    You also need some girl, half naked will do also :-)

    Online fundraising settings pose an interesting empirical puzzle: women are systematically more successful than men, an outcome contrary to offline gender inequality.

    http://faculty.haas.berkeley.edu/gorbatai/working%20papers%20and%20word/Crowdfunding-GenderGorbataiNelson.pdf

  • matt_gh2matt_gh2

    Looks great!

  • Adam_MercierAdam_Mercier

    yep some of our concurrents figured that out beter than us^^

    picture of bike

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