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Star Wars: Episode VIIIII - The Absolute Last Jedi
  • All below came to my mind after watching Star Wars today :-) Look in the near future.

    December 2020.

    Right after election shock subsided where Kevin Spacey got 7% of voters but won by being sole candidate, as everyone was afraid to compete.

    Famous star wars music

    Titles - "21st Walt Disney News Time Viacom Comcast CBS Company Presents"

    Titles - "In the galaxy probably not so near."

    Star Wars: Episode VIIIII - The Absolute Last Jedi

    You see colorful start field. And camera slowly tilts down.
    Easy to recognize famous Shire forest and unusually large hobbits homes, lot of strange creatures walk around smoking pot.
    You hear extremely loud noise, it is set of new Tie Fighters with 7 wings (estimated figures sales - $500 millions) doing fast descent and firing at village.
    Parts of hippies fly all around.
    Camera focuses on especially nasty creature with his guts all around.
    It turns his head and looks right at you, with large unblinking eyes, and start speaking.. in Chinese.
    This continue for a little while. Subtitles are absent, as being politically incorrect since WDNTVCCBS Company had been sold to Chinese last year.
    You hear even more famous shuttle sound.
    It must be some evil guy coming.
    And, as camera turns, you finally see him.
    He is black Chinese on wheelchair without all right part of his face and sole remaining large green eye.
    As all evil guys he has big mask, but this time it covers his reproduction organs area.
    Two large laser guns barrels stick from it.
    You again see creature with all the guts around, he is still not dead. And he whispers ... "Darth Debilus has come" (it seems it is only 4 words he knew).
    Darth Debilus makes very dangerously looking grimace.
    And start speaking, yes, again in Chinese.
    As he finishes speaking he clearly wants to do some evil things.
    Camera turns and zooms, and you see family of three pretty chickens.
    Powerful music start playing (written, as all other music in film, by DJ who participated in same heavy crack sessions as scenarists)
    Being powerful with the Force Darth Debilus remotely cuts chicken heads, pluck every feather one by one (note - in 8K slow motion!).
    Pulls up all three birds bodies using force and by look alone makes set of three crispy fried chickens (sponsored by KFC $50 millions).

    End of part one

    More to follow tomorrow.

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